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ABOUT  Faith, Hope and Love are the foundations of my life. Obstacles are like metal steel bars that make me stronger. And God is the cement that holds everything together. ARCHIVES
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DATE: Monday, October 31, 2011 TIME: 12:36 AM
Sometimes you really feel like giving up, you feel like the worst person on earth.
Feel like you're never good enough, feel like you always have to please someone.
Have you felt like that ? well i definitely have .
Sometimes i wonder, is it really me or them ?
I used to be that happy girl , well i am still trying to be.
Hanging on to that faith in me,
It's easy when eveything is smooth-sailing,
but not when you argue with your parents everyday, see your siblings twice a week,
face failures, face rejections, face loneliness.
But the more I should trust God.
I rmb those times when I had no one to turn to, God was always there.
Every time Im crying in my room alone, I never fail to hear a voice telling me to wipe away my tears and smile.
I rmb those times when i broke up, i felt that i was so hard to let go, so hard to please people, but i always rmb God telling me that he has plans for me.
Those times when i have an argument with my parents, God never fails to remind me to honour them.
Sometimes it really IS really really hard.
Staying happy on the surface is truly easy, fake a smile and walk away,
but only you yourself truly know how you're feeling.
There's no point putting up a strong front in front of others but yet breaking down when you're alone.
I admit, i do that a lot.
But why not be optimistic about life to the people around you and influence them positively?
Some people call it being hypocritical but i call it choosing who you wanna be.
This world is so judgmental, everyone has their down sides, it's a matter of showing them or not.
Everyone got their attitude as well , so dad and mum, as much as i know im at fault, i believe you guys are at fault too.
Sometimes i know im really too rude to them, but i just want to be left alone.
Sometimes i know im really slow to them, but i just want to do things at my own pace.
Sometimes i know im not good enough to them, but i just wanna let you know im imperfect.
Im sorry if i havent met your endless expectations,
but im who i am.
Sometimes i really just wanna lead my own life, yknow ?
I wanna make my own decisions, chase my dreams, but im being pulled back at the same time.
Pulled back by academic results, financial problems, family issues, emotional setbacks, and the list goes on .
But I guess that's life.
Life is like playing tug of war.
You pull the rope for hope and sometimes you get pulled into reality.
It's all about balance.
sigh , i guess there's so much on my mind right now that i cant even type it all out.
studies, friends, family, self.
And there's school tmr, well, life in school is like .. idk.
I feel i've just lost a friend, she's there physically but everything is just different .
Sometimes i look back into the past of my friendship with her,
it's really a story.
I think of all my friendships i've ever had, and well , i know i've definitely hurt someone before.
My close friend once told me, friends come , friends go.
It really hurts to see friendships drifting apart.
And right now, I know im drifting apart from you.
You're not telling me what's wrong and I cant help but miss the old you everyday.
I really wish i can read minds sometimes .
But well, God made humans like that.
Everyday all these problems circle around my mind,
but everyday i constantly remind myself that there are many more things worth thanking God for.
Like how i can wake up each morning, how i have the chance to study, how i have clean drinking water.
All these simple things but thinking about it, they're really the essential to everyday life.
Gonna keep thanking God and having faith about my life . Hang in there.