Sitting on the floor waiting for results, i almost cried cause i was so nervous. I told myself, no matter what result i get, i cant cry. 8 months ago i got my B3, i hated that B3 and i kept wondering why i didnt study. But i really thank God for that B3 today. One small lesson taught me so many things. That hard work pays off, God looks at your heart desires and indeed, what men say does not determine our future but it is what God says. Yang Lao Shi and Wang Lao Shi always said i didnt have the capabilities to score an A1. They always said my best was an A2. But well, God proved them wrong (: even up till now, i cant believe i really did it. Ahhh thank God so so much.

Was reading through Wilson Kanadi's blog, he really inspires me. There, he talks about his views on different subjects and the way he explains different topics really amazes me. His words are super inspirational (:
I was wondering, how do people like him stay so positive and strong despite the circumstances he might face? I guess he really just be himself and rely A LOT on God.
I particularly like three of his posts. The first one titled 'Look to God, not yourself'. It really speaks how we should rely on God.
'That's the point. God is the key of everything in my life. Without God, who am I? I'm just an imperfect and weak person. Life is too challenging, I can't even handle it with my own ability. I'm not able. That's why I really need to look to God. The only reason I stand still until now is because I look to God. Without God, I'm nothing.'
Those were the words from his blog and i couldnt agree more. It's really through God's grace and strength that i could have survived 16 years of my life. And without God, im really nothing.
Second post was titled: 'Stop being sad if you dont like it'.
I really like this post because recently i have been feeling upset and i dont know why. It's just that im upset about this and that and everything seems to be going wrong. In his post he mentioned that there's no point thinking if it doesnt lead to the solution. Reminded me of the other time i was telling zj abt overthinking. Overthinking is really bad for the soul because it usually makes you upset and not solve anything. Wilson also said in his post that if you dont want to feel sad, then dont! 'Why do you spend time for things that make you sad when you can spend it for things that make you happy?' - Wilson Kanadi
Lastly, 'Let go so you can breathe'. Some things i really gotta let go and let God. Recent events made me think a lot, especially what might happen in the future. Up till right now as im typing this, my mind is still flooded with thoughts. But i really gotta learn to Let go and Let God.

Happy 47th birthday SG (:
Had a nice dinner w extended family.
These few days havent been eating alot, losing my appetite. :/
Got no idea why. Stress?
Googled just now and well, it is possible.
Another link said 'why do people lose their appetite when they fall in love', it's pretty interesting actually (: maybe thats another reason. Heh.
Found out that there are actually reasons for people falling in love. Pretty cool what the scientific explanation is. All the biology is conplicated but really really interesting. I miss biology!
Well, prelims are next week. Olevel chinese results are coming out this monday. Starting to feel... Stressed, scared, mixed feelings abt it.
Getting mixed feelings about a lot of things these days. Gah.

:D

Im 16! ^^
Yesterday morning sonia, kaely and sipin came to my house to surprise me!
They were wearing barney party hat and masks. Hahaha cant believe they're 16! :P
Yeah anws it was great to see em! (even though i guessed they were up to smth, hehe)
Spent the rest of the day in church!
It was good (:
Realy felt God telling me that even as i turn 16, i gotta commit my life to Him again.
God will make my paths straight.
And a number of birthday wishes said 'Trust in God and He will make your paths straight!' not any other verses but that verse.
Proverbs 3:5-6 <3
'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight' (:
Yesterday I was upset over smth personal and I kept overthinking.
Kept thinking what will happen if this, what will happen if that.
And when i woke up this morning, i realised i was totally overthinking and i should just put my trust in God. I was thinking, why worry about your own life? God has everything planned out. And yeah, that helped me let go (:
Idk what i will do without God in my life man.
Back to school tmr!
5 more days till i can break fast and 9 more days to prelims. great.

Happy birthday to me (:
Thank God for bringing me unto this earth 16 years ago.
Thank God for His guidance, providence, love and care these 16 years.
Thank God for blessing me w a great family and such awesome friends.
Thank God for my life and this very special day.
(:

Another day at school, it wasnt so bad. :)
Almost couldnt wake up for school though. 2 days to my birthday :) haha so glad my birthday is on a weekend,
Dont need to face the stress and all the work and catching up during lessons, can just wake up late, go church and then relax :)
Ahhhh ~ good life.
Cant wait till o's are over.

Burning out? I really dont know.
But then again, i havent been studying that much.
Asdfghjkl i really dont know. :/
God, please give me strength.
I really feeling like saying ' ive had enough. I dont want to study', but thats impossible.
Gahhhhh. And the fact that my siblings arent at home doesnt really help. Back to lonliness and nobody to fool around with. :/
Sigh. Wanna go to a top of a hill and just scream my heart out.
Psalm 23: 1-2
"I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.'

Today just super pms. Idk why also. Heh. Not in good mood overall. Dont like going to sch. Rather stay at home and do my own revision. Anyways, today during physics i was totally breaking down. But then i realise i cant keep doing this to myself because i will not get anywhere. Need to seriously buck up w my revision. Get outta the house to study. Do myself a favor and prevent distractions. Self control, no watching so much of olympics. 15 days to prelims. Jiayou!

Prayer sessions are just amazing, how they can change my perception. Just now during prayer session really cried like mad. Just felt like God was really the only one who understood how i felt, how stressed i am. I felt God really spoke to me today. He taught me many lessons too. :)

#1. I gotta rely on His supernatural strength, wisdom and memory space.
Dad and nat prayed exactly the same thing, for supernatural wisdom. Supernatural. God IS supernatural. Just felt Him telling me that everything will be alright, that even when i cant, He can. Although through my human abilities that its impossible, God is telling me that it will be possible. I always say my mid years i did well because of luck, but i realise it wasnt luck but God empowered me to do well! And that i gotta have more faith to put my trust in Him. Reality is so harsh, so scary, so uncertain but God is real. His love will never fail. :) and His promises to me are true, that no matter what happens, its all in God's control. Prelims are so near, honestly, im freaking scared and stressed, but then again, who isnt? But i gotta turn my eyes to God. In Hebrews 11:1 it says, 'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see'. Its hard to trust and have faith, but God has provided me and led me so far, surely He wouldnt leave me. Im certain He will walk me through. :)

#2. Live by the will of God and live to please Him.
Today, i went w dad and mum for morning session too, the pastor was saying how we gotta live by the will of God. And i really started to wonder, what does God has installed for me? What is my life goal? I really dont know actually. But i felt God wanted me to touch lives, be it youth, adults and even children (: 'Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.' Proverbs 19:21 I came across this verse today and it speaks the same truth as Jeremiah 29:11, that God has plans for us. However, this verse is different. It really reflects on how we, as humans, have our own personal desires, wishes, hopes and dreams, but all these are not important. At the end of the day, it's only God's purpose that will be real. And whether we live up to that purpose is our choice. Pastor was saying that one day when we die and our souls leave our physical body to go up to heaven, we will have to meet God. Then, He will ask us what have we done in our lives and if we have lived up to the purpose He planned for us. That really got me thinking, what will my answer to God be?

#3. Set an example to the people around you.
The pastor was saying that the state of the society reflects on the church too. How impactful are we? And i felt God really telling me that i need to be a role model to my peers. Be a more positive person, not externally but internally too, that i gotta have the joy of the Lord in me! It was really applicable cause recently, i felt i was no longer as positive as i was before. I gotta start speaking words of positivity! :) 1 Timothy 4:12 also says 'Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.' I realise i always say 'im too young' or 'cannot la, im not of age', but then i realise i cant say that because every single thing i do can indeed make a difference. I felt God say to me 'Dont say you cant because you are young, but say you can because you are young'. Age is just a number, it limits us but its also an advantage. That we can impact our generation, that how we live can reflect God's goodness in our lives. I wanna make a difference, i wanna be someone that can influence others in the right way, i wanna let people look up to me and think, why is she so positive? What is keeping her going? Who is this God that makes her so strong? Who is this God that she is so committed to? And lastly, hopefully, can i know this God too? :) big dreams begin with a small step!

#4 Lonliness.
Yes, God spoke to me about lonliness. After all, siblings are going back to uni life soon, and i was just saying that Im going to be alone. I realise that lonliness is a fear that has always been in me but i never acknowledged it as a fear in my life. And today, God really put this question in my head, 'why are you lonely when you have me?' it's really true. :) God is my comforter in times of sorrow,provider in times of need and my friend, always. Pastor said this line 'talk to God and just tell him what you're feeling' smth like that. And i realise, yeah, i have this God who is indeed always there for me. :)

It's really amazing how after i read the bible or go for prayer sessions, i feel so... Awaken. Like life is different from the way i see it. It's so easy to say all these after a whole day of prayer sessions. It's always the case. And thats why im jotting it down. (: weilin, remember, God is REAL.
R - rest in Him, find peace.
E - everlasting, He lives forever.
A - abundant love, greater than any other
L - looking out for you, from heaven.
:)